Parenting

Learning how to raise kids, or in our case so far, a single kid, is constantly amazing, a series of heartwarming moments and challenges that can be funny, exasperating or humiliating, and often a mixture of these.

In living with the colitis, and pursuing the specific carb diet, I've stopped drinking coffee the way I had since college: with tons of cream and sugar. My aunt Beth, whose son Drew (my cousin, obviously) drinks it the same way I used to, derisively calls it ice cream. I learned to drink it that way from my mother, whose diet was to stay on a constant sugar high and not eat much food. Drew, I have no idea where he learned it from.

But the specific carb diet targets complex carbohydrates, the ones which the stomach alone can't digest. The theory behind the diet says that the carbs which aren't absorbed directly by the stomach--namely, anything except fructose (fruits) or galactose (organic yogurt) or glucose (simple C6H12O6, the most basic sugar)--all other sugars and starches move into the small and large intestine, and feed the invading bugs. The invading bugs don't inhabit the gut in a symbiotic way, and produce all kinds of chemicals that damage the gut and lead to the inflammation and ulcers. So the point of the diet is to starve the invaders, so they die off completely and the gut can heal. Simple theory.

These carbohydrates--sugars and starches--range from table sugar (sucrose) to the starches found in grains, potatoes and rice, and to the gluten in wheat, which allows for the light and fluffy texture of baked goods. And, last but certainly not least: they include lactose, the sugar found in milk and nearly all dairy products except a few cheeses (fortunately cheddar is among these). So grains, like for pasta and pizza dough, are out. Sugar, and I eat like my mom did, is out. And both milk and cream are out.

Basically, I'm drinking my coffee black. And when it's not espresso--or even when it is--it's frequently a pucker-up-and-just-get-through-it experience.

Since the temporary job I was working--overnight phone sales, not exactly a career ambition--came to a close, I've lost my bad excuse to ignore even parts of the diet. I was allowing myself grains--i.e. pasta, pizza and bread--again, but not milk or straight sugar. But even that was nice, because, of course, I looooooove my pizza. As does Kate, and even little Eva too. At dinnertime, now, she'll walk around repeating "piz-za," over and over and over. She's not yet 2 and her favorite food is obvious. The little girl has a lifelong love affair to look forward to.

I also enjoyed toast with my eggs--an egg sandwich with potato bread toast is one of life's genuine pleasures to me.

This morning, Kate was making breakfast, eggs scrambled with onions and two cheeses (cheddar & parmesan). It's kind of a gourmet thing, really. I took care of the toast and the coffee.

But when it came time to actually prepare the cupfuls, I realized we were almost out of sugar. At the very least I had enough for Kate's cup. (She now drinks it much like I did before, though with not quite as much sugar.) Then I looked for cream...and realized that we'd thrown it out last week, because it was bad, because I hadn't bought any since November. So we had no milk or cream.

I reported this to Kate, who had a classic Saxon retort:

"$%*&."

Eva was right there, and being the adoring, imitative child she is, answered right back:

"$%*&."

We burst into sheepish laughter and both resolved to clean up our mouths. And that's that.