I do have one quick announcement before I delve into the actual point of my post ... You'll all be happy to know my feet are looking 100% normal today! Not many of you have an accurate reference as to what not-normal looked like ... but they had been pretty hideously swollen for the past few weeks. I woke this morning though to a wonderful site ... definition of bones and veins in both of my newly pedicured tootsies! Seriously, this made my day and even though I'm still 40 lbs heavier than last fall ... seeing my feet in this state put my self-esteem through the roof!
I guess I should count my blessings that Mike is missing this part of my pregnancy ... Now, he can certainly account for a couple of sudden mood swings during my second trimester, but those were more teary, quiet moments of estrogen overload. This last month however has been quite a bit more trying and I'll admit to actually having a quite few private *a'hem* tantrums! Working with teenagers (no further adjectives necessary ... but oh so wanting to write them) all day long, explaining how life works and all the lovely common sense things that should have been taught to them years ago was trying enough. The addition of standing on the two balloons posing as feet while doing this just added to the fun! By the end of the day I'd walk through the door at home loathing every stitch of clothing. Oh and heaven forbid I see anyone on my way up to the second floor of the condo who just had too tell me how great I looked. LIARS! I'd smile at them with my chipmunk cheeks, as a drip of sweat trickled down my back (pooling, only Lord knows where), feet throbbing in my STUPID clown Crocs, and count down the steps to the front door! 3 ... scrambling for my key ... 2 ... got it in, go, go, go ... 1 ... ahhh, solitude at last! I'd plop my arm full of bags onto the counter along with the mail, rush over to the fan, promptly setting it to HIGH (now close your eyes kids), peel off my "professional" maternity ensemble and collapse on the coach like one of those old school toys!
So, finally after about 10 or 15 minutes, once the steam had settled ...
The one, the only, the infamous, little ibbily, Jasper would appear with a little *PppuurrrRR?!* As if he were asking if it was safe to come out. An uncontrollable smile would seep across my face and I'd answer back with the only three words in "Cat" that I know! He'd usually respond a little more quietly and start meandering over my way. Once by my side his gaze would fall from my face down to my bare, basket ball shaped, mid section, and back up again. As if it weren't insulting enough to have some new attention stealer thing growing in my belly, I just had to add the injury of baring some skin! He'd stare me down awhile longer, perhaps hoping he would accomplish some kind of change to the situation, and then realize it was hopeless ... at least for today.
My heart would melt for the poor little guy ... his best friend left him stranded with some dumb pregnant broad, with no cozy stomach to lay on, doesn't rough house with him, and who can't even accurately notify him when dinner is ready! Needless to say I've done my best over the past few weeks to step up my game! Before bed each night I'll toss him on the bed and beat around a bit (still far more gently then Mike does though), wear cozy sweat shirts (when cool mornings and evenings permit, as they have been lately), and make sure I scratch the sweet spot on his tummy whenever I catch him asleep on his back! Really all that is the least I can do, when the little guy is always so tuned into me and my needs.
Quite honestly, I have never met a feline so smart, or so sensitive! Much like a dog, he knows exactly when I'm feeling down and need some extra love ... or even when I'm feeling fine, but would just like some extra love. There are those moments when I'm sitting on the coach in the evenings a bit teary from missing Mike, and he'll come right over plop himself down on me and proceed to give me a hug (as I like to call it), nuzzling his head underneath my chin! Then there are nights when he curls up next to me in bed, only inches away from the edge, almost as if to tell me he'd risk his life just to bring me some comfort! I'm sure Mike would say it's just 'cause he's a cat and doesn't have the common sense to realize there is a whole other side of the bed to lay on. I'm convinced he is sending a much deeper meta-message though ... that's how we felines work PUP!
I stick to my theory here, not only because I know how felines think ... but because Jasper actually proved my theory a couple weeks back when he allowed himself a sleepy morning of indulgence ... on our big new poofy comforter! When Mike was first away, it was slightly strange getting used to sleeping in a HUGE bed all by myself ... so I folded up our new comforter and placed it on the opposite side (where I usually sleep) as sort of a body double! (Lame, I know.) Now to my surprise, one morning I woke only to find Jasper curled up right in the middle of this cloud like blanket!
This, the cat who if you put a kitty bed and a plastic bag down on the floor in front of him will immediately lie down on the plastic bag! I was in somewhat a state of shock ... I rolled out of bed gently not wanting to disturb his highness, figuring once I'd done showering I'd find him appropriately on his place on the sill. Nope, wouldn't you know it, the darn cat didn't even look up at me once, through the hustle and bustle of my morning routine, toilet flushing, hair blow drying, flash photography (okay that's out of the norm) ... and was still curled up as I walked out the door! He was sooooo content he didn't even care about spending the day in his office (the meadow) ... for an instant I worried he might be sick, but that night I came home and found that plainly was not the case. The little guy just allowed himself a morning of luxury ... and I had a strange feeling of pride that he'd done so! After all the love and sacrifice (sleeping on the edge of the bed) he does for us, he deserves to spoil himself on occasion!
There are other times when he needs some direct and intentional love as well, and he's just about as apprehensive as I am when it comes to asking for it. That being the case, I can usually tell the signs, namely when he's on the counter (cringe now, mom, get it out) and starts pacing back and forth trying to get as close to me as possible without falling off the edge, his eyes wide! I'll walk up close and pat my shoulder and after a few test touches he'll stretch out onto me and I'll scoop him up! It's endearing how timid he can be with me at times ... not that he's scared, just shy and cautious more than anything else.
What I love MOST about Jasper though, is he's creative nesting spots ...
Usually at night he will start out on the bath mat next to the shower (if not on the edge of the bed), but by morning he's most often found wedged on the sill between the bedroom window and the back of my dresser!
Since Mike's been gone though I've been doing a bit of, what I like to call, lady-like-construction ... which Jasper has seemed to enjoy as well, finding himself a new spot on a vacant towel shelf for awhile, which much to Jasper's despair I have now filled. Sorry pal!
The best spot by far however, he stumbled upon in the midst of a mad laundry frenzy I did a couple weeks ago when I washed all the baby clothes, blankets etc ... Little rascal nearly gave me a heart attack when I found him waiting to be put through the FLUFF cycle!
Priceless! Though I can't help but wonder what the lint filter might have looked like if he HAD gone for 30 minute spin?!
Needless to say, Jasper quickly gained a place in my heart last fall ... and has only been taking up more of it since then! What some might view as cute little subtleties I have come to perceive as overtly obvious statements of opinion and complex emotion! He's no ordinary cat ... not even a dog like cat, as I have so often said ... nope, he's a Jasper, plain and simple, in such an extraordinary way!
I'll let you be the judge of what he's expressing in this shot!
The dryer!...now that's really great. Seems like you're speaking with him on levels that I don't, babe... : )
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